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Mixed-Neurotype Relationships: When One (or Both) of You Has ADHD
Relationships are complicated for everyone. But when one or both partners are neurodivergent, there are specific dynamics at play that often go unnamed, and unnamed dynamics are very hard to change. You might recognise the pattern where one partner manages most of the household planning and over time starts to feel more like a manager than an equal. Or the communication misfires where directness is read as coldness, or inattentiveness is mistaken for not caring. Or the loop where a gentle piece of feedback triggers an outsized reaction, and gradually both people learn to stop saying the difficult things. These patterns aren't character flaws. They're neurological, and when you understand them that way, everything changes.
Late ADHD Diagnosis in Adulthood: Processing the Identity Shift
There's a particular kind of disorientation that comes with receiving an ADHD diagnosis as an adult. You might have expected to feel clarity, and perhaps you do, for a moment. But alongside the relief, many people describe something more complicated: a quiet unravelling of the story they've always told themselves about who they are. Before diagnosis, most adults with unidentified ADHD spent years developing their own explanations for why things were hard. You were lazy. Disorganised. Too sensitive. Not trying hard enough. These weren't neutral observations, they became part of your identity. A diagnosis doesn't just explain the past. It asks you to rewrite it.