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ADHD and Perfectionism: Why High-Achievers Often Go Undiagnosed the Longest
There's a common misconception that ADHD looks like chaos. But for a significant number of people — particularly women and those socialised as girls — ADHD looks entirely different. It looks like perfectionism. It looks like re-reading every email three times before sending it, managing your reputation for reliability meticulously because you know what happens when you don't, working twice as hard as everyone around you to produce the same results. If this resonates, you're not alone — and there's a reason it took so long for anyone to notice. Perfectionism is one of the most effective masking strategies there is. It's also one of the most costly.
Mixed-Neurotype Relationships: When One (or Both) of You Has ADHD
Relationships are complicated for everyone. But when one or both partners are neurodivergent, there are specific dynamics at play that often go unnamed, and unnamed dynamics are very hard to change. You might recognise the pattern where one partner manages most of the household planning and over time starts to feel more like a manager than an equal. Or the communication misfires where directness is read as coldness, or inattentiveness is mistaken for not caring. Or the loop where a gentle piece of feedback triggers an outsized reaction, and gradually both people learn to stop saying the difficult things. These patterns aren't character flaws. They're neurological, and when you understand them that way, everything changes.