5 Conversation Tips to Prepare for Christmas
I come from a big family with 4 siblings and we are all partnered and have children. This makes us an instant party when we get together with over 30 people. I love it! It’s loud, we laugh, there’s kids everywhere, too much food and lots of hugs. It can be a nightmare to organise a Christmas gathering though, like all families it raises challenges around when, where, dietary requirements and gift budgets but as a family we have learnt a few keys to make it work as smoothly as possible. It all starts with communication with our partners first as we each have our own values and challenges as separate families. Knowing how we want to approach the holidays with our partners guides how we interact as an extended family. Let’s look at why communication skills with your partner can help you prepare for a stress-free Christmas.
Clear and effective communication with your partner is a crucial skill in preparing for one of the trickiest times of the year faced by families, reducing unwanted surprises, disappointment and overwhelm when things don’t go to plan. Communication allows you to both share your hopes and needs, create a plan together, have a plan B (and maybe even plan C), all while creating that team feeling in your relationship. A bonus to keep in mind is research consistently shows that couples who communicate openly, honestly and kindly tend to have higher overall relationship satisfaction. Which is what we want! Let’s have a look at 5 ways that you can support your communication for the holiday season so you can go gift-shopping without guilt and feel supported when the in-laws come knocking.
1. Schedule a Pre-Holiday Chat
Before the holiday season kicks into high gear, set aside some time for a pre-holiday chat with your partner. Discuss your expectations, concerns, and any potential challenges that may arise when dealing with the Christmas period. Having this conversation early can help you both understand each other's needs and work on a plan together.
2. Active Listening and Empathy
When discussing difficult topics such as budgets or in-law dynamics, actively listen to what your partner has to say. Try to understand their perspective, and practice empathy. Remember, they might be experiencing similar challenges. Effective communication isn't just about talking but also about listening and showing that you care about your partner's feelings.
3. Use "I" Statements
During your conversations, try using "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, say "I feel overwhelmed when we spend too much time with your parents" instead of "You always want to be with your parents." This shifts the focus to your emotions and experiences rather than blaming your partner.
4. Address Conflict Calmly
Conflicts are common during the holidays, with higher contact with family, alcohol use, tiredness from a big year and pressure on the family budget. When disagreements arise, try to address them calmly and respectfully. Avoid escalating arguments and remember that you love your partner and it's more important to find a solution together than to "win" the argument. Negotiate until you find a solution you are both happy with.
5. Make a Communication Plan
Develop a communication plan with your partner. This plan can include strategies for handling challenging interactions in the moment, such as non-verbal cues to signal when you need support or a designated safe word that indicates it's time to regroup and move to plan B.
Communication is a two-way street where both you and your partner actively participate. By nurturing open, honest and loving communication, you can better understand each other's perspectives, needs, and hopes. This not only helps in addressing Christmas-stress but also strengthens your overall relationship during the holiday season and beyond. Clear and effective communication is a superpower that can make the holiday season smoother and more enjoyable for both of you.
Download my FREE Active Listening Cheat Sheet with BONUS 30 Questions to Prepare for Christmas here
If you would like support to build your communication skills, reach out now to book a session with me at admin@turningtoconnections or (07) 5391 4791
Carrie x